Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Humor
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
My favorite website.
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
