Humor
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
Your (DYM 31).
Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.
I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.