Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.

This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?

It has better reflexes than the twin towers.

  • 9
  • The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

    Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

    ...

    I guess her rubber broke too.

    I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

    Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)

    I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.

  • 6
  • Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

    1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

    If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

    Big hands.