Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?

He was told to high-jack it.

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.