What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂