Humor
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?