Hows jokes
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.