Hows jokes
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.