Hows Jokes

How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?

They get jalapeño business.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.

IDK

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it’s a find a word😂😂

How did the burglar get into my house?

Intruder window.

the biggest inconvenience in 2001 i thought was my brother turns out it was 9/11 i guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was aluh aluckbar

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Mother: How is my little cookie 🍪 doing?

Doctor 👩‍⚕️: Your cookie 🍪 is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor 👩‍⚕️: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop - Right. So you weight yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool. - Oh..that might actually be even easier

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

how to make time fly

answer throw a clock out of the window

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."