Hows jokes
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.