Hows jokes
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.