Hows jokes
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?