Hows jokes
How do you know a vampire's sick? If he's coffin (coughing?)
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.