How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her