Hows jokes

How do you make a lesbian upset?

Give her a multiplication test.

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

How do you fuck a cow?

Find the nearest Karen.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕

How to commit arson:

1. Burn down an orphanage.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

I made a house for orphans and...

they had no clue how to use it.

Why do women like Pac-Man so much?

How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?

How do clarinet players play a song?

They reed their music.

How do tourists feed their kids?

Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.