Hows jokes

How do rappers like their pizza?

With extra bars and dough!

How does a rapper clean his house?

With a LIL' SCRUB.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."

How do Mexicans begin counting?

Juan, Two, Three.

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

How do people get skinny?

Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"

Do you get it? SEArch.

Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"

I have a penis.

How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.

500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.

Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.

How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.

How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?

Chew when you swallow!

Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.

Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.

Me: How do you know that?

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and sick his dick.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

102, if you have some alive ones.

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my was kicked, let's be friends?