Hows

Hows jokes

Cat

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

Guy

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

Orphan

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

Twin

Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?

Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.

Twin: Not funny, dude.

Goldfish

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.

Adoption

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

Thor

How do you know Thor has your back?

He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).