How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Hows Jokes
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
