Hows jokes

Why do people play basketball?

Because they want to learn how to suck balls.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

How are baseball and an orphan different?

A baseball game you can do a home run.

How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?

Shut off his computer.

I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.

He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.

How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.

How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?

U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.

How did the gay man die? Homicide.

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?

Orphan: I don't know what you mean.

Me: There is no one to give a present.

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!

How do you be friends with a musician?

B minor.

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

How do you throw a space party?

You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

All of them are married!

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

How do you make a child’s parents happy?

Put the child to sleep.