Hows jokes
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
How many thumbs down can this joke get?
Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)