I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
How are orphans like spider man
No way home
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming ,he asks how do know you cant see .she replies ,i can taste it.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
How do you know if a snowman is a gril or a boy?
A:snow balls
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
