Hows jokes
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.