Howe jokes

How did Hitler tie his shoes?

He tied them in little Nazis.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

How do you start a fight in space?

"Comet me, bro."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

How does an artist fill in a CV?

He draws on experience.

How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?

Simple. All in the ashtray.

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.

How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?

Marry her.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.