Howe jokes

How does Jesus whistle?

By blowing through the holes in his hands.

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.

There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

Zero, they were copycats.

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

How did Hitler tie his shoes?

He tied them in little Nazis.

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.

How do two emo kids greet each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

How do you start a fight in space?

"Comet me, bro."