Howe jokes

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?

It never gets old.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

How did Michael Jackson die?

Because he danced like a zombie!

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.