Howe jokes
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
Memes
experiment
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!