How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
Howe Jokes
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
Iβm only curious how they closed his casket.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. ππ:'(:':πππΏππππ:(
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
