How To jokes

How to decorate a wall:

Strip off the paper and original plaster.

Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.

Paint it (if you want).

Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

How to make a baby make funny faces?

Put it feet first in a blender.

How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?

The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.

How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.

I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.