Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
