My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How To Jokes
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
