How Many jokes
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.