Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
How Many Jokes
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
