Hospital

Hospital Jokes

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called - sheesh

DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********

My stepdad took me to work and he told me I could climb trees. I woke up in a hospital, wait did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack

A man went to the doctors and the doctor said “what happened to you?” The man replied and said “I broke my arm in two places!” Then the doctor replied with “DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!”

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.

*The doctor asking why Ive broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

well what am i gonna do now...