Hope Jokes

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner The joke is I new right after she said I'll call you She was lying to me, not surprised even a little The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call , but did I really think she was going to, I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place, I think it was just to prove I was right , I'm unwanted LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS

YEEHAW

Ok this is a texting joke this isnt my joke found it on google Mom:SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol Son:mom how is that funny?!?! i hope ur not laughing MOm:OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

Harryj_mtb
in Cake

What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

Joker
in Clown

"I hope my death would make for sense then my life"- joker

Anonymous

I. Hi I hope youโ€™re

Gwen Jonson

Hi guys I am starting a gwen funny club if you wanna join then just type so here hope you have fun! Oh and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

Addison Banks age (8)
in Stop

I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough. Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.

PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.

Thank you.

Addison.

Emboy
in Gwen

I hope you see this plugin, but if your listing to this I really want to give you a little more...

Ron
in Group

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. "I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ˜‚

orphan :)
in Orphan

Dads are boomerangs, I hope. ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Lazerbeam
in Difference

Whats the difference between a Nun and a prostitue taking a bath? The Nun has a soul full of hope...

r.....
in Little Johnny

1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John

Anonymous

He's homeless. Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Sheer) survivor...The other :No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.

KK
in Die

My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck someone would die later that exact day she found out she had cancer.11 months later my grandpa died of a stroke I hope to see them in heaven Iโ€™d like to meet them pls comment good things I really really love them even though I didnโ€™t get to meet them๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

jadsa

HEY ANIME GIRL I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT JAYDEN IS A BOY AND WE GOT BACK TOGETHER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU NEVER HAD A CHANGE SO HAHAHAHAH

Godstalking
in Jesus

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!

Anonymous
in Puns

Youโ€™ll parsley be-leaf how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isnโ€™t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

Ello

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked. Lel I hope you guys like this joke

Alpha beta transdolphin

Why didn't R Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens, the legal age there is 14...Like bro hope on a plane and fuck q 14 year old hooker!