I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
Hope everyone is having a good day! ❤️
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
