Hope jokes
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Why did the AI go to school?
To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!
Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.
I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.