Holiday jokes
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!