What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What nationality is Santa Claus? - North Polish.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
