Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
The married are on holiday on Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing She: - Shut up
(Standing means: penis erextion)
A week before Christmas my wife left me, she said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore. On Christmas eve Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "all I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world." On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
What did the orphan get for Christmas nothing because his parents ran away double whammy orphan jokes r like a kid with cancer it never gets old 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
Roses are red Violets are blue If hes busy on Valentines day the side chick is you
if you ever get bored tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar if they ask why say because your missing fathers day and mother’s day
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why did the silly boy 👦 take the Christmas tree 🎄 to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan nothing they don’t have parents
How did the tree get sick
It got tinsel-itis
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
