Hit jokes
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
"What did we hit?"
"I don't know, a rock."
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!