History jokes
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
Memes
Me and the boys at the last supper
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.