History jokes
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.