History jokes
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?
"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi/Nattzee.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
I rate you a 9/11.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
Why can't New York City play chess?
Because they lost 2 towers!
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.