I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
The Nazis.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
the last thing that went through abe licolins head was a bullet
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
