History jokes
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?
Because they are afraid of the jet.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
Hey, 2001 just called.
They want their towers back.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
Your hairline goes back to the first century.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pepperoni pizza?
Because they got plane.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!