History jokes
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
"Nahtzee"
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.