History jokes
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
What game did knights play most often?
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
9/11
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.