History jokes
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.