History jokes
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. đ
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
â Steven Wright
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in Englandâs history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, âYou ought to be arrested.â The teacher confusedly asked, âWhy?â The student explained, âBecause youâre thinking like Albert Fish.â
Iâm old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Who remembers when âtweetingâ meant âstabbing a hookerâ?