Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
