History jokes
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"
Other person: "We will be fine."
10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
I will mummyfry you!
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.