History jokes
What is big and stupid?
The Titanic.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
Captain of the Titanic: “Where’s all that f***ing water coming from?”
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza.
They only got plain.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"