History jokes
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What flavor of pizza did the Twin Towers order?...
Plane.
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.