History jokes
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.