Him jokes

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!

My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."