Him jokes

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.

*also him*

Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.

I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.