Him jokes

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.

How did the blind boy's parents punish him?

Rearrange the furniture.

I've been drinking from a tall cup.

His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.

*also him*

Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.