Him jokes
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."