Him jokes

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Why was the orphan stupid?

Because his parents couldn't guide him.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.