Him jokes

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?

By kicking him hard in the balls.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.

What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?

Thank a Roo.

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?

The wall behind him :)

Him: I work with animals all day.

Her: Awwww what do you do?

Him: I'm a pornstar.

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.

Why do orphans become bullies?

Because their mum and dad were never there for them.

I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working in an orphanage!

Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?

'Cause they made a juice out of him.

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.

Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!

Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.

He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”

And vanished.