Mom: hey son, what does idk and idc mean?
Son: i don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: excuse me?
Son: oh, and by the way mum, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it..
Me: hey friend!
Friend: yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, Smelling, _, Tasting, Hearing.
Friend: Touch
Me: what do u spawn on Minecraft always (jk only 99.99pursent)
Friend: Grass
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4 LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”. DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke, Semifinals are later or tomorrow
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My friend txted me and asked me "Hey. Whts ur favorit emoji?" I said "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬" She said "why?" I said "Cause its your twin"
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite? Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Hey guys, its Hailey here.
Ima start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
So I was in the bathroom at school washing and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like "hey can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like sure and I was like come here and so she came over to me I was like girl look at ur self in the mirror and she started laughing so hard and she said I'm so ugly.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok,And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, sl*t!" I walked towards him. "I prefer slit." I said. "Why?" He asked. "You see this wrists?" I spat at him.
So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"
are teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall no resson so i said hey wall dat ass flat like a pancake from mcdondles.
On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.
Me : Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds - Them : Your ugly - Me : Sorry I am not a mirror.
I see a kid crying in the park right. So I go up to him and say " hey where are your parants" and he says "well my dad left to get the milk and never came back and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda triangle
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book? You look at the emo girl and say "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad...to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!
