Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.
Hes Jokes
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Why was the snowman smiling?
Because he saw the snow blower coming down the street.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
