Hes Jokes

Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? -"I want my quarter back."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

So I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks "What's so magical about it?" the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.

The bartender shakes his head, and says.

"Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

There was murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "no you'd never bring it back!"

Why wouldn’t Mr Bee 🐝 push Ms Bee 🐝 away?

Believe he loves his honey.

My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park

I got a orphan a Iphone 6 I told him to press the home button he has been doing it all day

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”