Hes jokes
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Memes
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!