Her Jokes

An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

So I punched an orphan...

What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???

Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

A close-up image of a monstrous-looking dog with large teeth and a harness on its face. The text overlaid on the bottom of the image reads: 'pitbull owners be like "her name is pancake and she's a sweetheart."'

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.

What do you call a redhead in a fridge?

I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."