Her jokes

Puppet

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Family

Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”

Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”

Son: “So your friend is gay?”

Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»

Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”

Father loudly: “YES!!!”

Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”

Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»

Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”

*A few hours later*

Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”

Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”

Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”

The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».

*The End* :D

  • 1
  • Candy stick

    One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.

    Sister

    My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.

    Girlfriend

    My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

    We never met again.

    Dildo

    Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!

    Homework

    Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!

    Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!

    Lenda: I'll try!

    3 mins later.

    Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!

    Lenda: Then what is 90 million?

    Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!

    4 mins later.

    Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?

    Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!

    Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!

    Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!

    Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?

    Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!

    Nightmare

    When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.

    We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"

  • 2
  • Rape

    I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."

  • 3
  • Teacher

    The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

    Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

    The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

    Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

    Dick

    My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

    Mama

    Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

    Band

    A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?

    Rape

    I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.

    Why is that a joke?

    Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.

    Why is that a joke?

    Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?

    Why is that a joke?

    She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.

    No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.

    Diaper

    What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..

    Just put the diaper on her 😉

    Regret

    Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

    Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

    Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

    The end.

    Dad

    Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?

    Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣